Let me set the scene. You are at a party, you layered on your flyest lipstick and are looking like a bad bitch. You’re smiling, getting your flirt on, doing your thing. Then (finally) joints start getting passed around, and you hit them all because duh. You’re stoned, you’re confident, this party is great. You saunter into the bathroom an hour later to see that said joints left a gaping hole of ugly where your lipstick once was. It’s a damn shame.
So what’s a stoner chick to do?
One should not have to chose between fabulous lipstick and hitting that blunt. Maybe we can have it all.
May I present you with the great lipstick/joint case study—what brands can last through a smoke session and which just don’t cut it.
Lucky for you, I tried many of them, ranging from specialty brands to drugstore classics. Blunts, joints and bowls, I smoked them all in my favorites lip picks. And I did it for you.
Ranked from worst to best performing, take a look and wear accordingly.
Usually a big fan of the brand, I own many of their shades and styles. But when it comes to maintaining wear through a smoke sesh, NYX couldn’t cut it.
I was wearing the Wicked Lippie in “Betrayal,” and this shit destroyed my joint. Starting at the first hit, deep purple spread higher and higher up the joint, melting from my face onto the paper. By the end of the joint, I had a sad ring around my lip line and some residue on my chin as well. The only slightest saving grace was that it was easy to wipe the remaining pigment from my face—so at least there is that.
To be fair, I opted to try a gloss this time around. It’s not all CoverGirl’s fault. Glosses are the worst.
Wearing Colorlicious Gloss in “Succulent,” I decided to give the gloss a shot at lasting and just hit a bowl. Needless to say, gloss was alllll over my pipe. A nice sticky ring of shame. What makes this not come in dead last is it was still miraculously on my lips afterwards, so I was still shiny and pretty, just with a slimy pipe.
I was surprised that MAC ranked so low on the list, as it’s a rather pricey buy. But, looking at my joint covered in Russian Red, it was the simple truth—this lipstick couldn’t hang. The creamy color sort of stayed on my lips (still needing a touch up), but it was all over the paper.
It loses points for being so expensive yet unable to last.
Another expensive brand that’s only available…