For myriad reasons, I try never to judge a bud ’til I puff her, an odd and seemingly forced adage that I coined when I smoked Cali outdoor for the first time. Compared to the carefully manicured caregiver bud we’d see en masse during buying hours at my first dispensary gig, it was dull and unassuming. Not even an ugly duckling, but one of those depressed, balding parrots you’d see at a pet store. Finally, I smoked a sample left behind by a guy with dubious paperwork and that weed parrot spoke to me, spouting off beautiful words. I was converted.
Blueberry Dream is not one of those strains. If it had anything to say, it would be an audiobook of Donald Trump reading the CliffsNotes version of your least-favorite YA fantasy fiction: mildly entertaining, but highly unlikely you’d want to finish it. It’s a novelty that digressed into an aberration.
Blueberry Dream by the numbers: Recreational pricing — $13/gram, $40/eighth, $275/ounce; Medical — $8.57/gram, $30/eighth, $165/ounce at LivWell on Larimer, 2863 Larimer St., Denver
I’ve tried smelling this strain more times than the rest of the Leafs by Snoop flower line combined, pressing myself to see if I’m simply not catching something. Every time, it’s the same: dirt and dried grass, like the inside of a mower bag left to sit for a week. I had initially speculated that the cure was rushed, but there’s a distinct possibility it was poorly cured to begin with then left on a shelf until it was time to launch. With every other Leafs strain boasting a distinct aroma, at minimum, I doubt this was what LivWell (the retailer and wholesale cultivator) intended.
Since this is a particularly low-THC strain (14.6%), I took a couple of days off smoking to dry out, packing a tiny nug with me for a trip to Brooklyn. (Editor’s note: Yes, it’s illegal to fly with marijuana; we’re not recommending this.) Looking out on the East River from the roof of a converted factory, I fired up the pinner of decidedly West Coast weed to start the morning. Then I took a few selfies to document my newfound and undeserved sense of cool and went back to the loft.
One of my favorite aspects of Blue Dream proper is how the Haze genetics tend to create a tension in my body, but similar to a rubber band that propels me as opposed to a chain with an anchor. It pulls you taught, then releases. Leaving my sedentary life in Denver behind me and walking the city for the day, this sativa seemed ideal.
Instead, I found my eyes heavy and little body effect as I warmed up bodega food from the previous night. If this had been relegated to a shelf for an indeterminate amount of time, this could be explained by cannabinol — a cannabinoid that’s a byproduct of degraded THC and generally leads you back to bed. Finishing my plate of lamb chunks and rice doused in white and red sauce after carefully picking around the wilted iceberg lettuce, I had no desire to venture out.
Since I was traveling for business and not pleasure, the plan had been to hole up in a coffee shop with my laptop and at least observe the city peripherally while taking a couple of breaks to shop and grab a pizza, a bagel, or some other fare Denver is sorely lacking. The plan morphed into working from the couch and worrying about getting dressed later. It would have served me to make the trek with my traveling companions, with the high wearing off in less than 45 minutes, but the lingering fog wouldn’t have made me decent company.
There’s absolutely a place for lower-THC cannabis at recreational stores; I usually advocate such strains for people who’ve taken an extended break or are simply breaking into pot to start exactly there. That, or buy a vape pen. But decreased potency shouldn’t mean a strain that lacks flavor and scent, two egregious problems with this Blueberry Dream.
In the restaurant world, guests eat first with their eyes. I worry that many tourists will smoke with their eyes, not bothering to give it a whiff first.