Methinks it’s time to start planning our Danksgiving menu for this year. For the farmer and I, Danksgiving marks the beginning of a time we look forward to all year: Fatmas.
Fatmas is our made-up food holiday that goes from that “don’t feel bad about indigenous genocide… because hey, they gave us that corn and shit so they were kinda asking to be shipped off to the shittiest tracks of land and stripped of their sovereignty and their rights to independent education, natural resources and legal recourse” holiday to that other “who cares about asian children being able to get so much as a pee break… because hey, you were so faded on black friday that you’re not sure how you ended up with that ten dollar food chopper put together by little Xi Ling right before her bladder exploded… and at least she had a job” holiday.
For the month of December, the farmer and I are celebrating another incredible harvest by cooking and eating everything we didn’t have time to eat during the growing season. There are no rules and no food morals. Anything goes. I’ll be making some classics from my new holiday cannabis cookbook (which is currently on Sale!) and we’ll be creating some new things that I’ll be sharing over these next few weeks.
Every year, this no bake pumpkin pie recipe goes on the Danksgiving menu, and this year, I’m going to try upleveling this by making it with our homegrown pumpkins. But for now, I wanted to share this super easy, vegan, gluten free, no bake, cannabis infused pumpkin pie recipe. Because, lets face it, I have a newborn and those pie pumpkins are probably going to end up as centerpiece decorations while we keep living la vida canned goods.
Speaking of having a newborn… it’s 3 am and I only get to use one hand for the rest of my life, so if this post seems crazier and more oddly punctuated than usual… fuckin’ babies man.
Cannabis Infused Pumpkin Pie
I could not sing the praises of this pie enough. It’s been my go to fall edible for two years running and it stores great in the freezer. It adheres to most special diets (no refined sugars, paleo splurge friendly, vegan, gluten free, soy free, etc…) and it’s incredibly tasty even if you’re on a totally unretricted Fatmas diet. This pie doesn’t require an oven, just a little fridge/freezer space and takes about 20 minutes of active prep time (maybe 40 if you’re doing other kinds of “baking”). Check out how simple this is:
1. Combine in food processor until chunky and sticky:
1 Cup Chopped and Pitted Dates
2 ½ Cups of Raw Nuts
(Mix Walnuts, Almonds,
Cashews, Pecans, etc.)
½ Cup Shredded Coconut
1 T Pumpkin Pie Spice
¼ T Nutmeg or Cinnamon
Pinch o’ Salt
2 T Coconut Oil
2. Press crust mixture into the bottom of a pie plate (Use a 10-12”…